The Way Back
by GingerMoon
Summary: "I am not machine. I will never be machine," She spat in broken english. Lena Kozhenova does not understand who she is or how she came to be. All she knows is the Dark Room. Forced into life as a Soviet spy, she fights to remain alive in hopes of one day seeing her family again in Sokovia, but time is running out - for her and the Soldier. Bucky/OC. Previously titled Kozhenova.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! I previously had this story posted under the title _Kozhenova_. Upon editing the story, I decided to take it in a completely different direction. I will be using my main character from that previous fic and have placed her into this. Please enjoy and remember to review :) **

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**The Way Back**

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 _Chapter One_

"Maybe all there really is - is just the next thing. The next thing that happens. Maybe you're not supposed to remember anybody's promises."

–Roslyn Tabor _, The Misfits_

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 _Underground Bunker_

 _Poland, 2012_

How did she get here?

Particles of dust swirled above her head, visible to her eye from the harsh florescent lighting flickering above her. She blinked, hard, focusing on the elements of dirt floating around, inches away from her face. It was oddly memorising. It seemed as the seconds dragged on, the more she couldn't bring herself to look away. The sprinkles of dirt reminiscent of snow –snow she could see so clearly in her thoughts. She could feel it now. Not the snow, no, not the freezing slush that would melt in her hands as soon as she scooped it up with numbed fingers. She felt the retreat. The slow retreating of herself into her mind, the disconnection of her sight –

"Kozhenova!"

Lena's head snapped down. The harsh stomp of heeled footsteps clambering toward her caused the young woman to gulp in fear. Lena kept her face unemotional, her eyes staring straight, focusing on the threading shoulder seam of the woman standing in front of her.

Another figure shoved itself in between Lena and the other girl. A fat face, wrinkled with time and experience, appeared very close to Lena's. The robust and stocky figure of the Headmistress loomed over Lena's frame. Though she was one of the shortest in her class, therefore making a lot of individuals taller then her, the Headmistress exceeded this. Where did they find such a woman? Lena had often pondered that the cruel woman was obviously a former KGB spy, or a psychopathic serial killer that her handlers saw too much opportunity in. Whatever her story, Lena remained terrified of the woman, but she was a good actress. Lena never crumbled under the Headmistress's gaze, though she cried often at night at the thought of being left alone with the woman –again.

" _Daydreaming_ ," Headmistress remarked in Russian. Her voice was deep and scratchy, and her breath smelt faintly of cigarettes. Lena remained stoic, her shoulders squared and her gaze straight ahead. She willed herself not to tremble. Her naked body was freezing, and she could see out of the corner of her eye how the girls surrounding her began to quake.

The lack of physical response from the Headmistress's intimidation riled the vile woman, and she swiftly raised her arm, backhanding Lena across the cheek. The sharp sound of the smack echoed throughout the cold, dark room, bouncing off the walls and ringing in Lena's ears. Her head tilted to the side from the force of the blow, and as the moments passed, Lena gritted her teeth and raised her face once again, only to be met with another hit.

Forceful fingers grabbed at Lena's cheeks. The headmistress pulled Lena's face up; her sharp nails digging so hard into the young woman's now red cheeks that cuts began to form. The older woman glared at Lena, her blue eyes shining with glee at the pain she was inflicting, but at the same time, as Lena was forced to stare up at her leader, she noticed something else. The same look she had noticed in other remaining girls surrounding her. it was the same emptiness she could see in her own reflection –whenever she got the chance to look at herself.

" _Always daydreaming_ ," Headmistress mocked, squishing Lena's face so hard together in between her fingers that the young woman's vision blurred from her cheeks puffing out. The Headmistress pressed her cracked lips into a thin line. Mockingly, she shook Lena's face, slowly turning her head from side to side. She released the pressure from her fingers and let Lena's face go.

The younger woman kept her gaze on the concrete floor this time. She knew not to be defiant and look up. She held her breath as the Headmistress leant forward, pressing her lips to Lena's ear.

" _I catch you again, you will not come back_ ," The smell of cigarettes and something else –something terrible, made Lena want to turn her nose up. She remained emotionless, no tears flooding to her eyes as her embarrassment and fear was quickly replaced by rage. Lena fought the urge to curl her trembling fingers into a fist.

The Headmistress pulled away from Lena. " _Spread your arms and legs_." Lena did as she was told. She raised her arms from her side and slid her feet apart. She stood like that, spread out like a star in front of her Headmistress and the gangly Popov. She ignored the gaze he fixated on her pert breasts, on her pubic region, and everywhere else in between. The Headmistress trailed her eyes along the inside of Lena's arms before bending down to inspect her legs. Satisfied, she straightened and ordered Lena to turn around. Lena complied and swivelled around, ignoring the pang of cold hitting her front as she pressed herself against the wall.

"Turn around," Headmistress instructed. Lena followed and returned to her previous position. Without another glance, the tall woman moved down the line, inspecting the other girls lined up against the wall.

Lena's face stung. Her cheeks blazed bright red and her mind swirled. She blinked numerous times, attempting to control the rush of anger hitting her body. She was ashamed of herself. How could she be so sloppy? How could she let herself slip into her mind once again, during such an important moment? Inspections were not to be taken lightly. Inspections were always serious. If she were not up to standard, if she was not what they wanted her to be –she would be thrown away, or worse. Lena did not want to be thrown away. She did not want to know what happened beyond the ruthless world she already knew.

A speck of dirt filtered its way into her line of sight. As she glared at the concrete floor beneath her, her bare feet almost purple from the cold ground, the dust continued to float. How she loathed that speck of dust.

The inspections continued. Lena focused intently on the Headmistress, what she said and how she said it. They were subjected to this humiliating ordeal once a week. Their bodies would be analysed for any imperfection by the Headmistress and Dr Popov, a short and lanky man with round spectacles and a bald spot. The girls, now down to ten, would stand in two rows. The first row stood in the middle of the concrete room, whilst the second stood with their backs against the wall. Lena hated being in the second row. Her bare buttocks stung as it pressed against the icy wall.

Lena understood that this subjection to inspection was apart of the intimidation tactic her Headmistress used. It had become routine, and Lena was no longer afraid of the looming eyes peering all over her naked body. It was merely a body after all. What she feared was the possibility of being selected. No one knew what happened to the girls selected during the inspection. Only one girl had ever come back.

Lena raised her head just a fraction to peer at the woman diagonal to her. Anya stood stoically, her chin held high and her brown eyes focused on the wall in front of her. Anya had been selected a month ago. Like every other girl that had been picked, Anya had panicked. Having been stood next to Lena at the time, Anya had screamed and grabbed a hold of Lena. She refused to let go of Lena's wrist, and desperately, a part of Lena did not want to let her go. The two women had stared into each other's eyes, both filled with fear and panic as Anya's naked body was forcibly ripped from the room and dragged, crying and screeching down the hallway.

When Anya had returned three days later, she was broken. Her body had put up a fight. She was bruised beyond recognition but still Anya was alive. Anya had not spoken since, unless she was responding to a Madame or the Headmistress herself.

Lena returned her gaze not to the floor, but to the Headmistress. She was nearing the end of the line, almost at the last girl. Watching as the tall woman's beady, hawk-like eyes ran over the length of Katya's body, Lena braced herself. She had made it this far without being chosen, she would make it to the end without experiencing it. Whatever _it_ was.

Lena bit the inside of her cheek. She watched as Headmistress slowly stood back, and ordered Katya's to turn around. Making her way to the front of the room, the Headmistress stood on a metal box, giving her a platform above her young students.

" _You have each passed_ ," She informed the group of ten. Lena bit her cheek harder, her hand beginning to shake once again as anticipation ran through her. She hated being so vulnerable in her naked state, and the sudden urge to go to the bathroom hit her. Lena closed her eyes, breathing deeply as she waited for a name to be called.

"Katya."

Lena breathed out a gush of air, relieved. Katya however, gasped sharply. Lena turned her head and watched the girl tremble with fear. She attempted to shake her head but found she couldn't. Not causing the commotion that Anya and other selected girls had, Katya remained frozen in fear –something that was not received well by the Headmistress.

As someone who did not respond well to fear demonstrated by her pupils, the Headmistress stormed off her small podium and grabbed Katya by the arm as Popov opened the steel door. Two armed guards stepped inside the room, their rifles clutched tightly in front of them.

"No, No," Katya mumbled out, her eyes wide and glistening.

" _Make your sisters proud, Katya_ ," Headmistress urged sternly, " _You will return to them_."

It was an empty promise. Headmistress repeated the same guarantee each time she led a quivering girl through those doors. Lena felt sorry for Katya, but at the same time she remained grateful. There was a small chance Katya would return, bringing the group of girls down to nine. Lena was almost there. She just needed to make it to five –then she would live.

The remaining girls watched as Katya's naked form was dragged to the door. She was handed to the two guards, and as they stepped outside, the screaming began.

" _Formation_!" Headmistress barked over the sound of Katya's wailing. Lena could see the disappointment on the older woman's face. No matter how hard she tried to instil strength in them, weakness would eventfully filter out.

Lena and the other girls quickly snapped into two lines. They were marched out the door, in the other direction of Katya and forced down a long corridor. The parade of their naked bodies was another form of humiliation, as well as a test. They were marched, eyes strained forward, down the lengthy corridor, then outside. From there, they were made to stomp through the snow in front of male guards and other personnel.

As a guard pushed open another steel door as they reached the end of the corridor, a blast of cold wind and bright light hit Lena's face. She squinted as her eyes adjusted to the gleam of sunlight and glare of snow, but from there she shivered. She wrapped her arms around her chest, doing her best to cover her breasts as she followed her comrades into the snow. Her bare feet sunk into the fluffy wetness, immediately going numb. She ran in line with the others, ignoring the jeers they received from the male personnel patrolling the compound. Her long dirty blonde hair swished against her bare back and around her face as she ran, her green eyes focused on the small building in the distance.

A commotion behind Lena snapped the young woman's interest. It was the sound of pain, and immediately her guard went up. Her shoulders hunched forward, and her nipples feeling like stone against her numb palms, Lena fought the urge to glance behind her. She gritted her teeth as the noises became louder, and it was apparent that one of the girls at the back of the line had become distressed.

Empathy was Lena's greatest downfall. No matter how hard the academy tried to destroy this flaw, Lena's ability to feels what other's felt was too overpowering. They called her soft and attempted to beat it out of her. They blamed her parents, her upbringing, and her Sokovian lineage. She wasn't a true Russian –Russian's were feared, respected, but Lena, she was pathetic.

The distressed wails become louder, and the girl behind Lena, Dominka, stumbled forward, falling into her. Lena grunted, a harsh look overcoming her features. She was unable to withhold herself, and with one glance, she turned her head.

Fading into the distance was the last in line. Her name was Klava. She was young, younger then Lena, who couldn't really remember her own age, and her screams were now apparent. Two guards stood over her, taunting her as she cowered in the snow. Usually the guards never touched them as the girls completed their weekly march, but they were allowed to bully them. This was different. Two men had pulled Klava out of line, and they were beating her. Her naked body, almost as white as the snow she sunk into, was darkening into a light purple shade, presumably from the cold and the heavy dent of boots reining down on her.

Lena never meant to stop. She never meant to fall out of line. The remaining girls behind her willed themselves not to stare at Lena questionably as they passed. This was it. In one morning they were already down three girls –the end seemed nearer and almost bittersweet. Graduation would be upon them.

Lena swallowed the lump in her throat. Her eyes narrowed at the men leaning over Klava, their thick boots and gloved hands trailing every inch of her body. They would use her, hurt her, and then feed her to the ferocious Alsatian guard dogs.

Rage encompassed Lena's entire body. She shook from the freezing winter cold, combined with utter hatred for the abuse these men were inflicting on Klava. Without hesitating, and without stopping to consider the consequences that would surely erupt from stepping out of line, Lena stormed toward the two men. Her stomping quickened, and soon she was running, lithely darting over the top of the snow. She had always been quick on her feet, her small frame allowing her to move at a quicker speed.

With a strangled grunt, Lena launched herself at the first guard. She brought her elbow up to his face, hitting him squarely in the nose. The surprise of the blow knocked him back a few steps, but he recovered quickly. Confusion, humiliation, and above all, anger, contorted his features. Lena glared at the guard and stood her ground, her naked chest heaving up and down.

Her naked body didn't seem to prove a good enough distraction, as the guard regained himself, his hand swinging forward to clap her upside the head. His strong hit sent Lena reeling, and she flung backwards on top of Klava. The woman beneath her gasped at the sudden weight of Lena, and both women felt warmer as their skin connected.

" _Whore_!" The soviet guard spat at her. Lena pressed her face into Klava's shoulder as the first kick collided with her ribs. Muffling her pained grunts from the blows now being inflicted on them both, Lena managed to spread herself over Klava, shielding her from majority of the hits.

Part of Lena had wanted to die for a long time. She couldn't remember when she decided, but she knew it would provide a release from the world she was contained to. Escape had been a fleeting thought, a mere desire that evaporated as quickly as the snow did when the sun finally came out. How could she escape such a place? Where would she go? She didn't even know who she was. She couldn't remember. There was no possibility.

As appealing as death was, the road to that outcome was long and painful. Lena had no other option but to endure it.

Lena screwed her eyes shut and attempted to block out the insults delivered by the guards and Klava's whimpering.

The sudden burst of pain emitting from Lena's cheek triggered a choked gargle from the woman. Fingers entwined in her long hair, forcing her fringe apart and revealing the long, thin white scar that ran from the middle of her hair line to the end of her right eyebrow.

Forced to look directly into the sun, Lena's eyes squinted against the gleam. She was then ripped away from Klava and thrown into the snow. She lay on her stomach until she was forcibly flipped over. The guard above her tilted his head to the side and ran his beady eyes over the length of her body.

" _I would like to have fun with you_ ," He spoke fast, and Lena barely understood his Russian. " _But you are so dirty_."

Lena's eyebrows pulled together in confusion. The guard spat on her once again, and Lena cringed at the feel of his warm spit running down her breast. She scowled at him, and continued to do so when he removed his pistol from the holster at his side.

She stared him down, silently urging for him to do it. He cocked the pistol and brought it to her forehead. Lena held her breath and looked to the guard, continuing to hold his gaze.

A gunshot radiated through Lena's ears, rattling her brain and forcing her to flinch. She gasped out, blinking hard as her mouth dropped open in shock and confusion. She felt no pain in her forehead, no pain in her skull. Was she dead?

The sound of the gunshot continued to echo in her ears. She looked to the guard towering over her, her eyes now wide with fear as reality set upon her. She watched as her would-be executioner turned his head, looking behind him at the heap in the snow. Lena's wary eyes followed the guard's stare, landing on the naked body of Klava. She remained crumbled in a heap, still curled up in the snow, but now, the fluffy whiteness surrounding her was turning a deep red.

Unable to control her emotions, Lena's face fell into despair. She trembled hysterically, a choked sob forming in her throat. She couldn't see where Klava had been shot; she didn't want to see the wound. Her terrified eyes darted to the other guard, then one who had terrorised Klava, and found no weapon in his hands. She was perplexed to find horror gracing his features instead of shock.

A shadow appeared over Lena. It was the shadow of a large figure, and her eyes immediately fixated on the outline of a rifle held in his right arm. Shakily, Lena managed to turn her head. Her mouth hung open as she did, and her eyes fluttered as she took in the sight of a large figure looming over her.

She had only heard rumours about him. Rumours of the terrible things he had done, that he would do. She never believed he had existed –Lena had only believed that the stories conjured up about him served the purpose of instilling more fear into them. That the Headmistress had only wanted to inflict more nightmares upon the young women she tortured daily.

She knew it was _him_. The glistening metal arm gave his identity away immediately.

"Soldat," The guard had holstered his pistol by now, his gloved hands vibrating with fear, " _Return to your_ –"

The Ghost, as Lena had often heard the other girl's refer to him as, raised his rifle once again.

 _He murdered Klava_. The realisation hit Lena instantly. Her stomach flipped, nausea washing over her, but she held back the bile she wished to release.

Lena continued to stare up at him with a mixture of terror and amazement. He was incredibly taller then her, towering over both guards as well. Black goggles covered his eyes and a mask hid the lower half of his face. His brown hair fell around his face in jagged pieces, hitting the base of his thick neck.

At the realisation that the Ghost would not be tolerating anymore, both guards stepped back. Lena gasped when the soldier's gloved hand grasped her by the hair and yanked her into a standing position. Lena's hands went to her hair, desperately pulling at the soldier's grip. He wasted no time in throwing her forward, and watched as Lena toppled down into the snow once again.

Understanding that she had been given the opportunity to live once again, Lena hurriedly stood up and trudged forward, her arms encircling around her naked body, cradling her wounds and protecting her dignity. The soldier stormed behind her, forcing Lena to trudge forward, stumbling toward the compound as best as she could. The other girls had already entered, and standing waiting for her at the entrance was Madame D, anticipating Lena patiently with a cruel smile.

What would ensue next made Lena's blood curl.

The soldier had marched her through the snow towards the compound, pushing her roughly when she lagged. She stumbled and fell, each time being pulled by her ear back onto her feet. Lena finally made it to the compound where Madame D stood. The middle-aged woman, whose skin appeared tight and taut due to the severely neat bun combed on top of her head, smiled at her as Lena stepped into the building.

Her hand clasped around Lena's upper arm tightly, keeping her in place. " _You look hurt, Lena_ ," She murmured, " _We must get you better_."

She tugged Lena further inside the building, dragging her down a long and familiar hallway.

Unable to stop herself, Lena turned her head, glancing over her shoulder. She blinked at the figure of the soldier, who stomped behind her, intimidating Lena with every step he took.

Releasing a shuddering breath, Lena staggered alongside Madame D.

 _We must get you better_.

It was a simple lie. Eight girls now remained.


	2. Chapter 2

Hello! Thank you to those who reviewed the first chapter :) Here is Chapter Two, please enjoy! TW: Slightly graphic violence toward the end of the chapter.

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 **The Way Back**

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 _Chapter Two_

"The story of my life? Where do you want me to begin?"

-Marie 'Slim' Browning, _To Have and Have Not_

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Lena gratefully rubbed her wrist as it was freed from the handcuff. Madame D dropped the restraint, letting it clang against the metal bedframe. Lena sat up, her itchy cotton pyjamas unsettling her as they did every morning. Combined with the bruised ribs she had received from the guards beating her and Klava, Lena's body ached miserably. The moments that had followed her entrance into the compound after the incident had rattled Lena entirely. Expecting to be punished or at least murdered for what she had done, Lena had found herself led into the medical wing. Intimidated by the soldier watching her every move as he stood in the doorway of the makeshift hospital, Lena had been laid down onto a steel gurney and examined. The doctor, whose name she did not know, analysed every inch of her skin before looking up at Madame D, who returned his gaze with a nod.

Under her command, he had strapped Lena's naked body down. Lena, panicked by the action, looked to Madame D with frightful eyes. The woman had said nothing, and watched as the soviet doctor picked up a large needle from a tray to his side. Bringing it to his eyes, contents of the needle squirted out, before he brought it to Lena's arm. Lena trembled as it punctured her skin, and within seconds, her vision had faded.

When she awoke, she was handcuffed to her bed, the other girls staring at her as if they were looking at a ghost.

That had been days ago. Her days went about normally from there onwards. Every morning she woke at five to her restraints being unlocked. A breakfast consisting of grey sludge and boiled chicken followed, accompanied by a glass of milk and a handful of different sized pills. From there, she underwent five hours of ballet; her body forced to contort into different positions and stretched beyond belief. A lunch consisting of the same food as breakfast separated ballet and weapons training, which was then followed by a long jog around the compound and combat classes. Paired with another girl, they were forced to fight one another until someone passed out or died.

Lena always looked forward to dinner. Instead of grey sludge and boiled chicken, they were treated to green sludge and boiled chicken. Lena figured the green sludge was peas. She always loved peas.

"Lena," A voice whispered, breaking Lena out of her thoughts. Lena inclined her head to the left, in the direction of the voice. Karina, an older girl with black hair, stared back at her. Her bed was in front of Lena's, and the older girl scooted up the mattress so that she could lean in. Gesturing for Lena to do the same, the blonde complied. She glanced at Madame D who had by now made her way to the front of the room, her shrill voice ordering the girls to hurriedly make their beds and stand at the foot of their beds. Lena moved to the end of her bed and began making it, allowing Karina to whisper to her.

" _They are going to kill you_."

Lena stiffened. She paused making her bed, her face expressionless. Karina glanced around her before quickly leaning in closer to Lena.

" _They are choosing you_."

Lena would be chosen during the next inspection. How Karina received this information, she did not know. Was she lying? Lena had been trained to detect a liar, but as she peered at Karina's face from the corner of her eye, she saw pity. Lena pressed her lips into a tight line. Ignoring Karina, she moved to the top of her bed and finished making it, before standing in front of it. Madame D walked along the rows of beds, majority of them empty now that the group was down to only eight. She nodded at girls, pleased with their tidiness, and then ordered them to breakfast.

Lena hurriedly changed into her uniform, which consisted of matching grey sweat pants and a grey long-sleeved shirt. Tense from Karina's warning, Lena shoved the though to the back of her mind. She had to be wrong. She was merely intimidating Lena. There was no truth to her.

Lena marched in a single file with the other seven girls to breakfast. Silent and bored, she monotonously ate her sludge, chewing down her boiled chicken and milk. In unison, the group of women swallowed the handful of pills given to them in a short plastic cup, their heads tilting back, hands cupped to their mouths.

The following five hours saw Lena twisted and turned in every direction. Madame C, another craggily old woman who acted as their ballet instructor, shouted and snarled at the remaining eight girls endlessly. Lena, who had always admired ballet since before she could remember, despised it now with great passion. It was painful, her toes bled often afterward, mainly during the night, and she would be forced to carry on with her training with only herself to maintain that the small digits did not simply fall off of her foot. The girls were only allowed to see the doctor if they were deemed worthy enough. In the early days of training, two girls had fallen sick with pneumonia – both were left for dead in their beds, still handcuffed to the metal frame.

She felt somewhat indifferent to Madame D for declaring her worthy of seeing the inside of the medical wing. The injection must have been something for Lena to not come down with pneumonia. Lena has been noticed. Perhaps her bravery to protect Klava had been received well? She couldn't understand this. The girls had been referred to as sisters for their entire training experience, but they had been pitted against one another like dogs.

Lena was strong. She endured everything her Madame's and Headmistress threw at her. They would not kill her. They liked her, Lena determined, and she was determined to survive.

The sudden thump of a body dropping to the wooden floor beneath Lena's feet caused her head to snap up. Peering from underneath her thick fringe, Lena watched with cold eyes as Dominka held her ankle.

" _Weak_!" Madame C reprimanded her. Dominka kept her head down as Madame C held up the cane she usually kept at her side, and before she could bring it down on the girl's body, Lena looked away. She ignored the beating going on behind her continued the exercise she had been instructed to do. She tuned out the sound of Dominka's grunts, her vision fading as her body continued on autopilot. Her thoughts slipped away, the light twinkle of a woman laughing filling her ears. She knew she had a mother. She could remember her, though very faintly, but she knew she was out there, somewhere. Memories of Sokovia seemed a lifetime ago. She only knew she was Sokovian because it had been the only language she had spoken for as long as she could remember. From the distant memories of first being in the compound, Lena had been terrorised by the Headmistress due to her Sokovian heritage. Her handlers could not fathom why a non-Russian girl had been selected for the program.

Now she spoke Russian, though her understanding of it was still a little off. This was because Lena simply hated the language. It was fast and harsh, and although it was frighteningly similar to Sokovian, it did not have the same melody she deemed her mother tongue to have.

Her mother was out there. She could feel it in her bones. There was a longing in her, a pull toward something –it had to be a sign. It had to be a connection. Someone out there longed for her too. She could feel it.

The feel of hot water trailing down her back soothed Lena's sore muscle. She rolled her shoulders and tilted her head back, screwing her eyes shut as the water beat down on her face. She went about washing her body quickly, savouring the hot water before it ran out. Steam filled the entire room, and as Lena cracked her green eyes open, she noticed one gaze strained on her.

Lena stared back at Karina. She did not intend to intimidate the woman, but Karina quickly averted her eyes and continued with her shower.

Five more minutes passed before the water became cold, followed by a familiar buzzing noise to signal that their daily wash had ended. Lena stepped out of the communal shower and made her way to her section, where a towel and her usual uniform of sweats and a long-sleeved shirt sat. She glared at her discarded leotard and stockings lying in a heap on the floor. Carefully, she bent down and picked the fabric up, folding it neatly before she got in trouble for disorganisation. Lena bent over to pick up her towel, glancing at Karina out of the corner of her eye. The other woman was looking at her as well, forcing Lena to look away. She couldn't help the hotness seeping up to her brain, and her eyes widened, as she suddenly grew angry.

Lena never usually had a temper. She had always been one of the more optimistic girls, despite the Headmistress attempting to beat it out of her. She never had a temper.

Lena supressed the sudden rage and towelled herself off. She recklessly took her time, being one of the last girls left in the shower block still changing. She was waiting to be last, but as Lena pulled on her last shoe, she looked up to find Karina still remaining.

Karina cleared her throat, but Lena ignored her. Karina repeated the action, as did Lena. Dissatisfied, Karina moved lithely around the bench, coming to stand in front of Lena.

Staring at the new pair of shoes now in her line of sight, Lena squared her jaw and raised her head. Wordlessly, Karina clasped Lena's arm and pulled her into a standing position. Her nostrils flaring at the sudden contact, Lena immediately ripped her arm from Karina's grasp. Glaring at the other girl, Lena took a step back.

"Lena," Karina glanced around them the room, her eyes focusing on the steel door behind them. She then looked back to Lena, her eyes hard with a determined look. " _They are going to kill you_."

It wasn't the repetition of the warning Karina had spoken to her hours before. It was the use of Sokovian that startled Lena. Her eyes wide, and her mouth agape, Lena attempted to respond to Karina, but found that her throat had closed up.

" _You're weaker then the rest_ ," She came closer to Lena, who remained glued to her spot. Karina spoke in a rushed tone, her eyes darting everywhere for potential listeners. " _You are weak like Klava. You are not even Russian_ -"

" _How_?" Lena finally choked out. " _How do you know Sokovian_?"

Karina did not answer. Her grip on Lena's arm tightened, and the sudden dig of Karina's nails into Lena's skin urged the young woman's temper to flare again.

" _How_?!" Lena demanded, her voice rising considerably from the mere whisper she spoke in before. Her nostrils flared as she glowered at Karina, her arms shaking beneath her grasp.

Karina's jaw clenched. "What they do to you," She began in thickly accented English, "Will be far worse than what I will."

Lena reached up with her hands and shoved Karina back. "Do not touch me _again_."

"Headmistress said she will feed you to the guard dogs," Karina hissed, stepping forward once again. " _Alive_. Before that, she will let the guards fuck you –"

Lena's hand connected sharply with Karina's cheek, throwing her head roughly to the side.

"Why are you doing this?" Lena snapped. "Shut your mouth! Leave me alone!"

Karina responded by throwing her fist out, catching Lena's jaw. The blonde stumbled back and touched her jawline, heat rolling in waves across her body. Her cheeks grew red and she gritted her teeth together, nails digging into her palms. Lena felt as if there were an engine inside of her, revving itself over and over again.

"You will feel nothing," Karina promised. Gesturing to herself, she spoke, "Gentle. I will be gentle."

Lena ignored her and quickly raised her leg, her foot planting firmly in Karina's middle. She kicked the other girl backwards, watching closely as her back collided with the ground. Karina raised her head, her eyes widening as Lena began to stalk forward. Karina scuttled back as Lena drew forward, both women moving into the shower area. Karina cringed at the cold from the white tiles hitting her exposed palms, and quickly attempted to stand on her feet to defend herself. Lena was quicker though, and kicked Karina down back onto the floor, continuing to kick her until Karina had backed herself into the corner of the open shower.

Lena bent down and grasped Karina's shirt in her left hand. She held Karina up to deliver three hard punches to her face before throwing her into the wall. Karina gripped the shower tap handle for support, causing the water to turn on. The water from the shower head rained down on both women, and as Karina attempted once again to stand, Lena knocked her back down.

In the midst of the beating, Karina tried to speak, but Lena ignored her and covered her mouth. She beat the other woman until her nose and mouth streamed with blood, her front teeth falling into the back of her throat.

Lena dropped Karina again, and the other woman rolled onto her side, spluttering out a mouthful of red liquid. It swirled around in a mixture of saliva and snot, painting the white tiles a bright crimson.

Lena was too close to surviving the program. It was knowledge that only one girl would graduate, and Lena refused, she _refused_ to be discarded. It had come to this finally, where they would turn on each other. It had been different when Headmistress had ordered them to kill one another during a combat session. They were desensitised to that action, but no one had ordered Lena to end Karina. She had beaten her into submission on her own account, because of her own anger and will to live.

Lena stood hunched over Karina's broken body, her chest heaving as she spat out the water that kept filtering into her mouth. Her wet hair was plastered to her face and back, and as Lena swiped her fringe away from her eyes, she smeared Karina's blood across her forehead.

Karina coughed, spitting more blood onto the watery tiles.

 _End it_.

Lena kneeled promptly at the envisioned voice of Headmistress filtering into her mind.

Karina turned her head, squinting as the water rained down on her face. Upon feeling Lena's hands slide around her neck, she let out a loud moan. It was a terrified sound, accompanied by longer, higher-pitched wails that bounced off the tiles surrounding them.

Lena's eyebrows furrowed as she concentrated on Karina's neck. Overwhelmed with a violent cocktail of anger and survival, Lena's hand enclosed around Karina's throat, squeezing tightly. Karina's eyes bulged before squinting close as the water above them continued to pour down on her face.

Karina's legs kicked out as she struggled under Lena's grip. Gritting her teeth together, Lena held onto the girl under her until she could feel Karina no longer kicking. With one last gurgle, Karina opened her eyes to stare at Lena, before her body finally gave out.

Breathing deeply, Lena remained kneeling in the shower still grasping Karina's neck. Her vision faded as her mind retreated, her body going into autopilot as the doors to the large bathroom opened. Her grip around Karina's throat stayed tight, even as a guard attempted to rip her hands from the corpse's skin.

All Lena could see was bright red, blurred amongst white in a pink blob. A hard dent to the side of her head from the butt of a guard's pistol finally saw Lena's hands slacken from their position around Karina's throat, and the young woman fell numbly face first into the bloodied shower floor. Her eyes now spotted with black, Lena exhaled slowly, her eyes slipping shut.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you to everyone that reviewed the previous chapters. Please enjoy this and remember to hit me with some feedback, whether positive or constructive :)

* * *

 **The Way Back**

* * *

 _Chapter Three_

"Get some sleep. Forget the whole thing like a bad dream."

-Mark McPherson, _Laura_

* * *

" _It is understood that after you beat Karina Ivanova, causing lacerations to both cheeks and mouth, as well as breaking her nose, you proceeded to cut off her air supply by applying pressure to her neck with your hands, correct_?"

Lena nodded, "Da," She answered, her voice just above a whisper.

She sat silently in the chair, her wrists and ankles bound with a thick leather strap, confining her to the rigid seat. The Headmistress sat opposite her, eerily calm as she read off the extensive list of wounds Lena had inflicted upon the now deceased Karina. Headmistress pressed her thin lips into a tight line, squinting down at the clipboard she grasped tightly in her right hand, before gazing at Lena. Headmistress tilted her head to the side, analysing Lena. She studied the young woman's sunken green eyes, taking in her dirty blonde hair, strung about her face. It was closer to brown now, darkened from the lack of sunlight she saw.

" _Do you regret what you did_?" Headmistress questioned her after a moment's silence.

Lena stared back at her superior. Numbly, she shook her head. " _No_ ," She spoke, her voice cracking from the dryness in her mouth, " _I want to live_."

Headmistress nodded. " _I admire your resilience, but I cannot have this happen again. I am in control_." The domineering woman rose from her chair, glaring down at Lena, whose face remained emotionless. " _I decide who lives_ ," Headmistress stated, reaching up to grasp Lena's chin, " _And who dies_."

She dropped her grip from Lena's face and nodded to the guard standing next to the young woman. Without hesitation, the guard raised his baton and swiftly slammed it down onto Lena's thigh.

The young cadet promptly screeched in pain as the thick baton made contact with her body.

" _You must understand, Lena Kozhenova, that I will not tolerate another incident from you_ ," Headmistress hissed. She bent down, coming to Lena's eye level. The younger woman glared at the headmistress, attempting to suppress her pained groans as the agony in her thigh caused her muscle to begin quaking.

" _I do not understand what they see in you_ ," She whispered to Lena in a cruel tone. " _You are weak, your mind will kill you in the end_."

Lena clenched her teeth together, her jaw aching from the pressure. The Headmistress straightened, smoothing out her grey skirt. With one final nod to the guards at Lena's sides, the Headmistress strolled off. Both guards raised their batons, bringing the thick instruments down upon Lena's body. The sound of Lena's agonised wails combined with the muffled beats of the batons, rung throughout the room. The added noise of the Headmistress's clacking heels against the concrete ground finally disappeared beyond the heavy steel door, leaving Lena's screams to fill the entire compound.

Lena's teeth clamped down on her tongue, eliciting a pained gurgle from her as the taste of metal filled her mouth. The two guards continued to beat her until her vision spotted with black dots, but even then Lena refused to give into the release of collapsing. She endured the beating, her nails digging into her palms so intensely her closed fists became wet. She unclenched her hands, gripping onto the wooden arms of the rickety old chair. She hunched over, taking the hits on her back, hiding her head between her legs.

She grunted angrily when her head was jerked back, the smirking features of one of the guards enveloping her eyesight. Lena glared up at him, her hair still entangled in his grubby fingers, and without hesitating; she mustered a mouthful of spit, mixed with a clump of blood, and spat in his face. The guard's smirk fell into a grimace. Dropping his baton at Lena's bare feet, he removed the leather glove from his left hand and backhanded Lena. Her head snapped to the side, and she spat out blood once again, this time into her own lap. From the other side of her, the other guard repeated his comrade's actions. Instead of backhanding her, he hit the side of her face with the baton, enticing a loud crack from Lena's cheek.

Lena stared down at the floor with hatred. She blinked, staring at the ground, as red spots appeared splotched on the concrete. Blood dripped from the cracks between her teeth, trickling over her lips like a broken faucet. Lena closed her eyes, squeezing them shut despite the pain from her swollen cheeks. She wanted it to end; she just wanted it to end.

Opening her eyes, she slowly exhaled. Somewhere in the distant corners of her mind, she could hear that tinkle of laughter again. Someone was calling her, but it wasn't her name. They weren't calling Lena, but she knew they were cooing for her. There was someone out there, someone beyond the thick concrete walls that could hear her screaming.

* * *

All he wanted was for her to stop screaming. It was a nuisance – a mere hindrance in the back of his mind, and it _unsettled_ him. He did not understand why it troubled him; he could not fathom why the constant screeches ringing in his ears and echoing throughout the halls caused something to flicker in the deepest corners of his conscious. He just knew it annoyed him.

His muscles relaxed when the screaming suddenly halted. He resumed his training, sparring with the unwilling test subject as different eyes looked on.

It was the flash of long hair that caught his interest out of the corner of his eye that caused the Soldier to pause momentarily. He held the test subject in a headlock, his thick metal arm wrapped around the man's throat, digging into his windpipe and cutting off his air supply. The soldier held the man in this position, staring intently from behind the jagged strands of hair falling in front of his face at the three figures passing him. He stood in the open room, lined with cellblocks, watching as the two guards dragged the small woman, holding her up by her arms, the lower half of her body unable to stand.

His lapse in judgment caused his victim to have the upper hand. The Soldier's attention was promptly taken away from the young woman as his opponent's fist slammed into his crotch. Returning his focus to the fight, the Soldier released the man from his hold and punched him squarely in the jaw, beating him until his knees buckled.

His chest heaving, the Soldier straightened, his blue eyes watching the figures surrounding him. The guards feared him, their fingers resting on the triggers of their tranquillisers, glaring in his direction. The lab coats also feared him, but they were far too excited, whispering in rushed voices as their fingers hovered over a clipboard filled with notes. The Soldier glanced at the bleeding man crumbled on the floor at his feet before looking back to the girl, who had been discarded on the floor at the foot of a short lanky man.

" _She will not pass out_ ," He overheard the guard inform the Doctor, " _We have beaten her until our hands blistered_."

One of his handlers, a high-ranking soldier, now appeared at his side. The Soldier studied this other soldier's red beret, taking in his features, his lip curling up at the sound of the man's deep voice instructing him. He followed his handler's orders, standing still as the group of Doctors eased forward to study him. He glared at each of them, though his ears strained to listen to the conversation occurring behind him, his interest captured completely.

" _She refuses to die_ ," The guard continued, glancing down at Lena with disgust. He nudged her with the tip of his boot, but Lena remained still. She lay on her side, completely motionless but alive, her right hand splayed out on the ground next to her. She stared at nothing, her chest barely rising, but she was there –she refused to break.

Doctor Popov gazed down at the young woman. With intrigue gleaming behind his spectacles, he bent down and brushed her fringe from her face. Her hair appeared almost dark brown from the amount of blood matted into the strands. Her entire face was swollen, her right cheek bone clearly fractured. She had suffered and endured a vicious beating, the physical consequences of which would be visible for weeks.

" _She is quite the wolf_ ," Popov murmured, studying Lena's features. He gentle traced his fingertips over the bridge of her nose before standing to his original position. Glancing at the menacing Soldier standing behind him, Popov clasped his hands together. Gesturing to Lena, he ordered the guards, " _Take her to my wing. She requires another injection_."

The two guards that had beaten Lena into her almost comatose state, nodded. They reached down and pulled Lena up, once again dragging her limp body to the ordered area. Doctor Popov once again glanced at the Soldier, his eyes widening when their gazed locked. Clearing his throat, Popov sheepishly hurried from the open area, darting in the direction of Lena and the guards.

The Soldier watched the four figures disappear. His features hardened as he replayed the image of the woman lying limply on the floor, her hair hiding her face from him. His jaw squared as he connected the previous screams to her, the annoyance bubbling within him again.

"Soldat!" His handler's gruff tone tore him away from his thoughts. " _Stand ready for your second opponent_."

"Da," He complied, the though the girl no longer playing on his mind.

* * *

 _Two Weeks Later_

Lena sat at her desk, her eyes strained to the front of the classroom where Madame D stood in front of an old chalkboard. Sucking on the inside of her cheek, Lena listened as Madame D droned on about logistics in French, something she had no interest in at all.

Lena shifted in her awkward new uniform. She felt uncomfortable in the beige stockings and low heeled shoes, the grey-green pencil skirt and matching blazer making her feel too reminiscent of the Headmistress. She could not fathom why they had been issued to now dress like this, but Lena figured it was something to do with the fact that graduation was near. They had lost Dominka to the selection, and Lena secretly hoped she would return in the next few days, broken but alive.

Six girls remained. Lena was one girl away from surviving. She knew if she made it to the final five –she would surely live. Graduation was too close, and she knew the five of them would dissipate quickly.

The sound of the classroom's door slamming open caused Lena to flinch. Her eyes darted to the front of the room, and she refrained from shrinking in her seat at the sight of the Headmistress appearing. It was then that the sight of the Soldier, the very same menacing man that had murdered poor Klava, tumbled Lena's stomach. She fought down the wave of nausea, her eyes crinkling with a glare as she watched him enter the room, his heavy boots almost teasing the six girls with a threat. Four guards followed closely behind, taking their positions in the room. A final man donning a red beret stood with his hands clasped behind his back, watching the Soldier closely as he moved to the front of the room with the Headmistress.

Madame D sported a polite smile, though Lena could see through the woman's bravery. Inside she was trembling at the reality of the situation, and Lena almost smirked at the thought of the old woman being terrified.

"I am sorry to interrupt," Headmistress began in English, her eyes roaming over the six girls sitting silently before her.

"No, no," Madame D responded with a sheepish smile, "We were just finishing our lesson."

Headmistress nodded. She turned to address the girls before her, a wry smile etching its way onto her thin lips.

"You may be wondering why I am here, and why our _friend_ is here," Headmistress started, gesturing to the large man beside her. "From this day forward you are no longer girls, you are women, and women hold power –a certain type of power, that you must use to gain what is needed. Your training to this day has required you to be smart, to be decisive and quick in your actions. We have taught you to eliminate the bad, to be defenders and informants for your country, and now I must teach you your final lesson. Graduation is upon us and only one of you can pass –it is essential that all of you, as women, understand the necessity for the need that human's have, which _men_ have, and become it."

Lena blinked at the Headmistress. She masked her confusion, simply staring emotionlessly at the array of figures standing before her, but she could not help but feel slightly fazed by her superior's speech.

Headmistress clasped her hands together. She scanned the room, her eyes roaming over each of the young women before stopping on Lena.

"Lena Kozhenova," She called out, almost cruelly. "Please come to the front of the room and stand by Madame."

Lena complied. She rose from her chair, pushing it out before quickly tucking it back under the desk. She smoothed down her skirt before making her way to the front of the classroom, coming to stand beside Madame, facing the Headmistress.

"Take off your clothes."

Lena swallowed the lump in her throat. Her green eyes darting to the imposing figure of the Soldier standing mere feet away from her, watching her with those intense blue eyes, Lena's hands began to shake. She paused, not wanting to follow her Headmistress's orders, but raised her trembling hands anyway. Biting her lip, Lena shakily slid her blazer from her shoulders, letting it drop to the floor. Each button she undid felt like a milestone, and she frowned at the fabric as she dropped it, leaving her top half exposed in just a bra. Her undid the zip of her skirt, letting it slip down her legs and pooling around her ankles.

Lena stepped out of the skirt, leaving her in her underwear and stockings. The headmistress looked Lena up and down before shaking her head.

"Your undergarments as well."

Lena fought the urge to sigh. She gritted her teeth together and rolled down her stockings. She bent down to remove her shoes, then stepped out of her hose. Pausing, she exhaled before unclipping her bra, leaving her breasts exposed. Then, with a pained expression, she pulled down her underwear.

Discarding it all to the side, Lena squared her shoulders, standing naked before the many figures watching her.

She raised her chin, looking up to stare into the unblinking blue eyes of the Soldier. He gazed at her with what Lena could only decide as hunger, but there was something else, something else within his gaze that fought this hunger away. As Lena's eyebrows came together in confusion, the Soldier looked away.

"Lean against the table," Headmistress commanded. Lena lowered her head and moved to the table next to the chalkboard. She leant against it, her thighs pressed tightly together.

"Solider," She then called his name. "Stand before her."

Lena watched, her eyes filled with terror as the Soldier came to stand before her, his body inches from hers. She refused to meet his gaze, her eyes fixating on his bionic arm.

"Now spread your legs."

Lena could not complete the instruction.

"Spread your legs, Kozhenova!"

Lena inhaled sharply as she reluctantly opened her thighs, spreading her legs as wide as she could.

"Now look him in the eye," Headmistress ordered. Lena closed her eyes briefly before reopening them, bringing her gaze to settle on the Soldier's. They stared at one another, both barely breathing as Lena sat before him, her entire body at his disposal.

Lena felt as if hours had passed. The seconds were dragging on as the room filled with tense silence. She felt humiliated, but despite the strong urge to screw her eyes shut, she could not look away from the man before her. There was something about him, something to him that did not seem right. Like she had noticed before, there was hunger apparent for her. His eyes had roamed over her entire naked body, taking in every curve and pore that his eyes could lay on, but as his sight settled back on hers, Lena saw a different emotion swirl inside him –a different emotion she could not pinpoint.

"You are each sacrificing for a greater purpose," Headmistress affirmed, "You must not have any hesitation in yourselves. Your body is your greatest weapon, any man will be brought to his knees at the sight of you."

 _Everyone but him_ , Lena could not help but muse. Clearing her throat, the Headmistress turned back to Lena and the Soldier. She raised her hands, clapping them together shortly before ordering Lena off the desk.

"Stand down, Soldat," Headmistress drilled. The large man stepped away from Lena, moving toward his handler at the other end of the room. At her superior's command, Lena hurried pulled her uniform back on, moving back to her seat where she kept her head down for the next three hours.

Every now and then throughout the lesson she would raise her head by a mere fraction, her eyes peering up through her thick fringe to one figure in particular, only to be met with the same steely blue eyes gaze.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you to everyone who reviewed! Please enjoy this next chapter. Also, just a reminder that this story is going to be very dark. I have always loved the spy-thriller sense to the Captain America films and want to explore how gritty and dark these world's can be. I kind of feel that the darkness is a touch of reality to these very out-of-this-world films. 

* * *

**The Way Back**

* * *

 _Chapter Four_

"We belong to nobody, and nobody belongs to us."

-Holly Golightly, _Breakfast at Tiffany's_

* * *

" _You will want to caress your target softy, with your hands flat against their chests_."

Lena held her breath as she slid her hands across the guard's chest, pressing herself unwillingly against his back. He was larger then her, considerably larger, her forehead brushing across the fabric of his crisp cotton shirt. She attempted to steady herself, control her breathing, her eyes closing briefly as she copied Madame D's instructions.

" _Now bring your hand down_ ," Madame D continued. Lena couldn't see her instructor from behind the guard's imposing figure but she imagined the old, craggily woman smirking as she mimicked fondling the guard's crotch. Lena complied, sliding her palm down the guard's abdomen. She paused momentarily when her middle finger made contact with a bump in his trousers. Breathing in deeply, Lena pressed her lips together and grabbed the man's crotch. Holding him in her hand, Lena peered around his back, gazing out at the audience watching her intently. When the guard's hand encircled her own, Lena looked down to find a gleaming gold band wrapped around the fourth digit of his left hand. Lena's eyes flickered up, locking with a certain blue gaze.

She blinked. His eyes were trained on the guard now, that same ferocious glint in his gaze.

" _Now bring your hands to his shirt and undress him_."

Lena completed the seduction perfectly. The guard had succumbed to her touch rather quickly, and though her actions were humiliating, with eyes trained on her throughout the class she felt the sweet grace of dominance seep into her core. She felt empowered by the praise she received from Madame D and her Headmistress, and despite the overwhelming presence of the Soldier as he watched Lena seduce the guard at the front of the class, Lena felt smug for the first time in her existence. She was so close to Graduation now. She didn't know what came after, but all Lena knew was that she was close to freedom. She needed to be beyond these walls, beyond the confines of the prison she was contained to, so she excelled in her studies. Every guard sent her way in these new classes fell apart in her hands within moments, she could dismantle her rifle in under a minute and every night as she lay in her bed she thought only in French, then switched to Italian, then back to Russian.

Her days now consisted of being divided into seduction and assault. She was taught to engage in any form of sexual intercourse her mission required, extract information, and then kill. Every guard she was pinned up against never died at the end of the lesson, although Lena was waiting for the moment where a gun would be planted in her hand, and she would have to aim it at a man's forehead, moments after bringing him to a release. The thought of murdering her victims after seducing them almost seemed pleasant in her mind. She thought of them as scum, and the idea of ridding the world of their presence seemed relieving.

Lena spooned her remaining grey mush into her mouth and swallowed. She looked up at the Headmistress, glaring behind her back as she monitored the last few girls, sitting together at one table in the large room. Lena lowered her spoon onto her tray, her eyes glancing around at the empty tables and chairs that surrounded them.

Five girls. Just five girls remained now.

The chiming of the clock on the far wall brought Lena out of her thoughts. She sighed quietly and placed both hands on the table, pushing herself up. Her legs ached from the relentless combat training she endured, as did her back. Lena grabbed her tray and followed the four other girls as they made their way to the front of the mess room, leaving her tray in a neat pile on a metal table.

"Girls," Headmistress acknowledged in English as the five women came to stand alert in front of them. Theirs shoulders straight, hands clasped behind their backs like soldiers. They each stared ahead, with Lena the only one making eye contact with the old woman.

"Weapons training is cancelled for tonight," She informed. Lena's eyebrows pulled together in confusion, but as the Headmistress turned to gaze at her, she dulled her expression, appearing emotionless once again.

" _You will report to your room for an early night. You must all rest_ ," She then concluded in Russian. The five girls nodded in unison before they were dismissed. Greta turned on her heel, leading the short line of girls to their large and now very empty room. They took their places at their assigned beds, the beds they had slept in since before they could remember. Lena vaguely remembered the nightmares, the times she would wake up in wet sheets, stained with her own urine or blood. Lena pursed her lips and underdressed for bed, pulling out the trunk from underneath her bed and unclasping the locks. She crouched down in her grey underwear and took out her nightclothes, pulling on the thicker attire. Lena climbed into bed, her arm outstretched above her head, her wrist resting on the metal frame above her. She closed her eyes and waited for the sound of Headmistress's heels clacking against the concrete floor, but minutes past, and Lena heard nothing. She cracked one eye open just as the lights went off and the heavy door shut, leaving the room in utter darkness. She listened carefully, waiting to hear the bolt lock them in, but nothing came. Lena opened her eyes fully, letting her sight adjust to the darkness. She could hear the other four girls shifting in their beds, clearly confused at what was happening. Lena slid her arm underneath the blanket, rubbing her free wrist. She rolled onto her side, completely perplexed at the situation, and curled up in the foetal position. She hugged herself, her eyes wide, staring into the darkness as silence crept over the room.

 _Take the opportunity_.

The thought crept into her mind. _This is your escape_.

Lena screwed her eyes shut. She shoved her face deeper into her pillow, attempting to block out the thoughts.

 _Someone is waiting for you, outside of this place_.

Lena desperately tried to push away her own voice, speaking in Sokovian. She rolled onto her back, staring up at the dark ceiling above her. Her vision clouded over as she pictured soft grass and the warm sun. Someone was out there, waiting for her, she could feel it, but now was not the time to run. This was a test, just like everything else. The second the bottom of her feet touched the floor; Lena would be carted away into another dark room, a bullet in her skull.

She imagined her own lifeless body, lying limply on the ground. She wondered what they did with the girls that didn't make it. Were they fed to the dogs? Were they fed to them? Is that what the grey mush was? Dominka and Klava? Their bodies ground down into grey mush and served to Lena on a dirty tray?

Lena's stomach rolled and her mouth swelled with spit. She swallowed and attempted to calm her breathing. It would be morning soon and she would survive another day.

* * *

Lena awoke sharply, her eyes snapping open the second a foreign hand landed on her shoulder. She blinked a few times, letting her eyes adjust to the still dark room. She wiggled her toes, signalling that she was still in bed.

" _Lena_ ," She recognised Madame D's voice instantly, " _Wake up and come with me_."

Lena complied and sat up, pushing the sheets to the end of the bed. She stood up out of the low bed, her feet hitting the icy concrete floor. Lena let Madame D grab her by the forearm and lead her out of the room. Scanning her surroundings quickly, Lena noticed only three girls in their beds. Where was Greta?

Trying not to let fear consume her, Lena followed Madame D out of the room and down the familiar corridor. She was surprised to find no guards trailing them. This sent a shiver down Lena's back. Tingling began in her toes, slowly creeping up her legs and spreading from her fingertips. Her mind felt fuzzy, her vision spotting as her throat became dry and sore. Lena exhaled sharply, attempting to ground herself before she fell over with anxiety. Her eyes darting around the empty corridor, Lena let her gaze finally rest on the back of Madame D's head. She analysed her hair, noticing that the thin strands were not pulled into its usual tight bun, but were loose, falling to the middle of her back. it was as if someone had woken Madame D up in the middle of the night as well and ordered her out of bed. Without thinking, Lena reached out, the ends of her tingling fingers brushing against Madame's hair. She wanted to wrap her hands around the strands and yank back, exposing the old woman's throat. Lena imagined what it would be like to dig her nails into Madame's skin, tearing at the flesh to rip out the oesophagus.

Lena slammed into the old woman, almost toppling them both over. She cleared her head of the violent fantasies and blinked at Madame D, her eyebrows furrowing as to why they had stopped so suddenly. Madame D swiftly turned, staring into Lena's green eyes before taking her chin in her wrinkled hands.

" _Are you listening_?" Madame D whispered sharply in Sokovian. Lena stared at the women with a mixture of confusion and shock. " _Are you listening_?!" She demanded when Lena did not reply. Her hand slid down to Lena's throat, squeezing hard.

"Da!" Lena gasped out, nodding her head quickly. Madame D continued to gaze at Lena before letting her hand drop from the frightened girl's face.

" _You are my favourite_ ," Madame D spoke softly. Lena's eyes widened at the woman.

"W _hatever they make you do, you do it_ ," She instructed, " _Promise me you come out_."

Lena shakily nodded once. Madame D took one last look at Lena before turning. She didn't notice that they had stopped in front of a door. Lena watched as the older woman knocked on the steel door sharply before taking a step back. The door promptly slid open, revealing another dark and seemingly empty room. Lena looked at Madame D, who refused to meet her gaze. Lena had no option but to enter. She carefully took a step forward, her feet sliding over the concrete ground reluctantly. Sweat gathered at Lena's forehead, rolling down in tears across her face. She held her breath as she crossed the threshold, stepping completely into the lowly lit room. She felt a presence brush beside her, the door closing behind her back. A light flickered on, causing Lena to inhale quickly. At the other end of the room, with her back to Lena, stood Greta. The other girl turned slowly, her eyes meeting Lena's.

Neither woman spoke. They continued to stare at each other. Lena glanced behind her, finding a guard, the same one she had seduced hours before in class, standing at the door. He held his rifle calmly in his arms and stared straight ahead.

Lena turned back to Greta and took a step forward. "Greta?"

" _I was wondering what they had planned_ ," Greta spoke solemnly in Russian, her voice thick with emotion. Her eyes and cheeks were bright pink, indicating that she had been crying.

"What? What have they planned?" Lena questioned in English.

Greta shook her head and pulled off her sweatshirt, leaving her in sweatpants and a thin singlet. She dropped the shirt on the ground beside her and pulled her hair back, using the rubber band around her wrist to push her long red locks from her face. She squared her shoulders and clenched her fists. " _They want us to kill each other_."

Lena went cold. Her stomach dropped and her hands felt like jelly. "What?"

Great gritted her teeth. " _Do not be dumb, Kozhenova_." She took a step toward Lena, causing the blonde to take a step back. Lena's eyes flickered to the corners of the room, finding cameras pointed at them from each angle. Lena breathed in. She calmed herself and copied Greta's actions. She pulled the sweatshirt from her torso, leaving her in a thin singlet. Rolling her shoulders, Lena raised her fists as Greta paced from side to side. Both women waited what felt like hours before either one of them made the first move.

Lena swallowed the lump in her throat. Her teeth mashed together, her jaw clenching. As she held her fists defensively in front of her face, her nails dug into her palm as her heart began to beat faster. She felt a cold sweat come over her as her anxiety heightened, and she briefly unclenched her teeth to once again swallow another clump of saliva. Her eyes darted around the room. The light continued to flicker above them, leaving a despondent and creepy atmosphere to the concrete walls surrounding both women.

Inhaling sharply, Lena lunged forward. She swung her fist at Greta, who dodged it effortlessly then swiped her right foot under her opponent, sending her to the hard floor. Greta's nails latched into the skin on Lena's shoulder, tugging the smaller woman down with her. Lena's elbow hit the floor hard, sending pain spiking up her arm. Greta grimaced at the strip of skin embedded under her nails, her hands pushing flat against Lena's chest in an effort to push her off. Lena rolled off of Greta, bounding onto her feet quickly. Her right foot came down on Greta's chest, holding her down.

Greta wrapped her hands around Lena's ankle and twisted. Lena cried out, her eyebrows knotting together. Greta jerked Lena's ankle sharply, causing Lena to bite her tongue. The smaller woman cringed as her mouth filled with the taste of rust, and she spat down at Greta, watching as a clump of crimson coloured spit rolled around on the other woman's forehead. It dripped down into Greta's eye, causing her to let go of Lena's ankle. Seizing the opportunity, Lena ripped her leg away from Greta's chest. She kicked her in the stomach, prompting Greta to gasp out. Lena kicked again, her tired and foggy mind becoming hot and clear. Lena's face grew red, her cheeks darkening as she continued to send her foot into Greta's stomach.

Lena halted her kicks. She lowered her foot and breathed in deeply, her shoulders moving up and down hurriedly. Lena blinked. She stepped back from Greta, bringing her hands to her eyes and applying pressure. Her mind buzzed, filling with static.

Removing her hands from her eyes, Lena caught a brief glimpse of Greta's fist before it connected with her nose. Lena's head snapped back and she stumbled toward the wall behind her.

The back of Lena's head hit the wall first. She hunched forward, pinching her nose to stop the bleeding. Warm liquid oozed through her fingers, sliding down her neck and dripping onto her front. Lena cringed, then spat. The clump of bloodied spit dribbled down her chin and dripped in a long line onto her bare toes. In her daze, Lena felt her chin grabbed. She opened her eyes, widening them as far as she could as she attempted to focus her gaze. She could see two Greta's standing before her, her face inches from Lena's.

Lena weakly pushed Greta away from her. Greta barely stumbled and threw herself forward into Lena. Both women tumbled to the floor in a heap, their bodies aching and oozing with blood. Lena hurriedly pushed herself up and kicked out, catching Greta in the cheek.

Lena could feel the heat rolling over her again. It seeped over her entire body, cuddling her until she couldn't breathe properly. Her chest heaved up and down as her face twitched. She shook her head and scrambled back, moving away from Greta who lay on her side cradling her cheek. Lena clambered to her feet and ran her hands over her face. Scarlet red coated her fingers, embedding under her short and broken nails. Swallowing, Lena breathed raggedly. She glared at Greta lying on the floor before her, and briefly, she saw Karina attempting to breathe as she lay in a pool of her own blood.

She was angry. She was enraged. She hated the circumstances in which she existed. If they wanted her to fight, she would prove to the Headmistress, to the _eyes_ watching her from every corner of the celling, how much of a good fighter she was. She would survive this.

Storming forward, Lena tangled her fingers in Greta's hair. Yanking upwards, Greta screamed as Lena pulled the other woman to her feet, only to cut her down moments later. She slammed her fist into Greta's cheek before twisting around to kick her firmly in the chest. Greta fell to the concrete floor once again, spluttering out blood and spit. She cursed a few times in what Lena identified as Ukrainian, then tried to kick Lena in the ankle. The blonde woman did not hesitate as she moved behind Greta. Pulling her once more up by the hair, Lena held Greta around the chest and neck. She wrapped her legs around Greta's chest to keep her in place, so that the next action Lena undertook was easy.

Upon realising what Lena was doing, Greta began to fight. It wasn't the same kind of fight both women had endured moments prior. This was desperation, and the horrific realisation that Greta had lost.

She clawed at Lena's arms, raking her sharp nails through skin, leaving angry red lines and drawing blood. Lena kept her composure. She stared at the camera in the corner of the room, her expression emotionless as she held the grieving Greta in her arms.

As Lena's grip tightened, Greta began to scream. It was an awful sound, one that would remain etched in Lena's mind for as long as she remained alive. It was a low, guttural wail, ending silently, as the pain in Greta's chest caused her to gasp for breath.

" _Forgive me_ ," Lena murmured to the terrified woman, " _Forgive me, please_."

Greta screamed once again, thrashing her bloodied body as Lena's hands tightened around her head and neck.

Lena glared at the camera. In one swift movement, a snap pierced the air as Greta fell silent. Her body halted, falling limp in Lena's hold. Holding her breath, Lena remained still. Her eyes glazed over, and her grip tightened on Greta's corpse. She could hear laughter, and someone calling her name over and over again. It was cold, but she could feel the sun somehow. It was beating down on her face, bringing out the tiny brush of freckles that danced over her nose and cheeks. She held Greta in her arms, unable to let go as the fantasy took over her thoughts.

It was minutes later that a team of guards were dispatched to the room. When they entered, the horrific sight that greeted them earned cringes and mutterings of disgust.

Red handprints coated one side of the wall, with spit and other clumps of blood and hair spread out over the floor. A tooth lay in the centre of heap of bubbling spit, and in the centre of it all sat the two women –one alive. Lena stared into the distance as she cradled Greta, their legs intertwined like lovers.

A guard approached the two women, his rifle lowered. Barking an order at Lena that went unnoticed, he timidly placed his rifle on the ground before crouching in front of the two women. He spoke to Lena again, who ignored him, before forcing the dead body out of Lena's grip. The guard let the body fall to the side and heaved Lena onto her feet. She allowed herself to be pulled in the guard's desired direction. Lena remained tucked away in the safe part of her brain, ignoring the damage she had done.

* * *

Lena sat on the edge of her bed, running her hands along the thick and itchy bed sheets. She had been allocated her own room. An overwhelming gloom of guilt hung over Lena. It had for the past few days since she had murdered Greta. Despite her justification for survival, it was all beginning to impact on the young woman.

She wanted to live. She needed to survive. The other girls held the same agenda, but Lena was stronger. She was also human and she knew this guilt was what separated her from the people that kept her here. She could feel guilt, she knew there was something wrong.

Lena knew she would not see the other three girls ever again. If she did, it would be for them to kill each other.

Lena massaged her temples before covering her eyes. She let her head drop into her hands. Heaving a sigh, she pushed herself off the bed and walked to her sink. Staring at her reflection in the dirty mirror, Lena twisted the faucets and splashed cold water over her face. Running her hands through her hair, she smoothed down the dirty blonde strands, pushing her fringe flat against her forehead. Stepping back from the sink, Lena ran a hand over her chin. Sitting back on the bed, Lena leant forward, resting her elbows on her bent knees. She sat like this in utter silence, her eyes focused on a crack in the concrete ground near her bare feet.

The sound of the peephole's cover sliding back grabbed Lena's attention. Looking to her right, she saw two familiar eyes peering back at her. Lena straightened as the Headmistress blinked at her before shutting the cover in a rush. She could hear locks being unshackled, and within seconds, the Headmaster had entered her room, accompanied by a stern-faced guard.

" _Lena_ ," She seemed to purr with a malicious grin. Lena did not stand for the Headmistress; something she knew would irk the older woman.

Lena merely nodded her head at the woman, acknowledging her presence half-heartedly.

" _I am here to escort you to class_ ," She informed in Russian, " _Your training will be different from now on_."

Lena nodded again. She stood up, her hands curled into fists by her side. She towered over the tiny woman, and as Lena squared her shoulders and raised her chin, she thought she noticed the Headmistress's eyes glint. She didn't know if the emotion that had passed through her gaze was that of fear, fear at what Lena was becoming, or if she were merely envious perhaps.

If she were afraid, the Headmistress had every right to be. In such short time, Lena had proved to be a compliment killer.

Lena followed the Headmistress down the long cold passages that led them to a familiar room. When she entered, Lena found only three other figures in the room. Madame D looked every nit nervous as she stood in her grey suit, her fingers twitching as she stood by the blackboard. The two other figures –the Soldier and his handler –stood on the opposite side of the room.

Lena eyes immediately went to that of the Soldier. They stared at one another, unblinking, until Lena finally looked away.

" _Lena, please take a seat_ ," The Headmistress instructed. Lena complied and moved to the only seat left in the room. Every other chair and table had been removed from the room, leaving one rickety old chair in the centre of the floor. Lena sat down quietly, feeling like a target. She mentally prepared for the Soldier to remove the pistol from the holster strapped to his thigh and aim it directly at her forehead.

"As you already know, you have been separated from your sisters," The Headmistress began in English. Lena thought it was amusing that these girls had been referred to as her _sisters_. They had been raised together from as young as Lena could remember, she grew up with them in a cold, loveless, detained environment, and yet they were her _sisters_ and she had _killed_ them.

"You're ready," She continued, "You are being assigned your first mission, Lena. In exactly one month from today you will begin this mission, and you will end it."

 _Or they will end me._

A single bullet to her head would kill Lena if she did not complete what was forced on her.

"If you complete your mission you will proceed to graduation. Once you graduate, you will be assigned more missions. With these missions, you will experience beautiful new things. Doesn't that sound exciting, Lena?" Lena's eyes flickered to the Headmistress. She had lowered herself to Lena's eye level, giving the young woman a bright smile.

Lena remained silent.

"You will be _Agent Kozhenova_ ," The Headmistress continued, "You will be _someone_."

That caught Lena's attention. "Someone?" The young woman echoed.

"Yes," Headmistress beamed, " _Someone_. And if you continue doing what you have done so well, you will be rewarded."

"With what?" Lena questioned, confusion overcoming her features.

"With fear."

Lena stared at the old woman. She would be feared. People would fear her. She would be _something_. If she continued to be compliant and continued to do what she did, she would be rewarded. She would be able to experience the outside world. She could make her escape.

"You will train with the Soldier. When you are not training you will be studying with Madame," She then called to the guard, who came toward them with a brown folder under his arm. He handed the folder to the Headmistress, who then placed it in Lena's lap. Lena paused, sliding her finger along the edge of the bunched papers. Slowly, she gripped the front of the folder in between her thumb and index finger, and turned the page.

The first piece of paper continued paragraph upon paragraph in Russian, and as Lena skimmed her eyes over the document, she realised it was a profile. She noticed the name of a man, outlined in the first few lines.

 _Damien Mendez._

His date of birth and subsequent life story was detailed underneath. Lena turned the page, revealing a black and white photograph of the man. She studied his black hair, peppered with grey streaks. He wore thick-brimmed glasses and had light eyes. His nose was large and dented slightly to the left, indicating a previous break.

"You must analyse this," Headmistress informed, "Analyse every detail. Precisely one week before your mission you will be tested. You must be able to recite this word for word. Do you understand?"

Lena nodded.

"Good," Headmistress breathed, "Your mission is to hunt this man down. You will seduce him and extract the correct information that he will be carrying. Once you have completed this, you will kill him. It will need to look as if he did it himself. Damien Mendez is a germ, another plague on this already decaying society!"

"What did he do?" Lena asked quietly.

Headmistress glowed red. She angrily ripped the folder from Lena's hands and furiously flipped to the firs document. "He has brought disgrace to our organisation! Disgrace to our cause! He has been feeding highly classified information to a disgusting corporation!"

The venom in the Headmistress's words caused Lena to wince.

"A corporation known as _S.H.I.E.L.D_."

The old woman hissed the name as if it were evil. It must have been to cause this much fury.

"You will make this man beg for his life, Lena," She urged the young woman, "And you will take it from him."

Lena did not breathe for what felt like minutes. She simply stared at the Headmistress, taking in every crevice stretching across her weathered face. Her eyes were cloudy with age and hatred. Solemnly, Lena nodded. She understood the task that had been appointed to her, she almost revelled in it. If she could do this, she would live.

"A fine woman you will make, Lena," Headmistress smiled at her, exposing her yellowed teeth.

Lena did not return the gesture.


	5. Chapter 5

So I've been hit with some inspiration at the moment and will be posting regularly throughout this week. This chapter was interesting to write, please enjoy and review. Once again, this story is very dark and contains mature themes such as extreme violence, sex, death, etc. With that, enjoy and remember to review!

TW: Dubious consent

* * *

 **The Way Back**

* * *

 _Chapter Five_

"I was born when she kissed me. I died when she left me. I lived a few weeks while she loved me."

-Dixon 'Dix' Steele, _In a Lonely Place_

* * *

With a grunt, Lena cringed as the side of her head connected with hard concrete. Gritting her teeth to block out the pain, she placed her hand on the ground and pushed up, scrambling away from her attacker.

The Soldier was ruthless and unforgiving. She knew this already, but being at the brunt of his blows had Lena almost begging for a release. Sweat leaked down the sides of her face as if someone had poured a bucket of warm water over her. Backed into the grimy wall, she panted and clutched at her stomach, gazing up at the robotic man looming over her. His eyes were steely and merciless and they sent Lena into a spin. Those blue eyes had haunted her for almost two weeks now. When she lay in her bed at night, she saw those eyes. When she showered, she saw them reflecting back at her in the pools of water swirling around her feet.

Lena did not know how to function around him. She was terrified of him, yet undeniably curious. When he was not beating her, fighting her in some simulated training session watched over by numerous figures in white lab coats, or watching her intently as she ran her hands over the naked torso of a guard, he seemed to be elsewhere. Sometimes when they trained together and he had the upper hand, he would stare at her for far too long. She would be under him, held down by his metal hand clamped around her throat, and she would noticed something flicker behind his eyes. His eyebrows would furrow slightly and his face would pale. When they were so close, Lena could almost see as if someone were sifting through the many files in his mind, pulling down sharply on a light switch that would merely flicker before dying, or just wouldn't turn on at all.

He was so cold and calculating. She wondered how he had come to be, if he had a name other then Solider? He looked older then Lena, far older. He barely spoke and was kept separated from everyone and everything - Lena began to wonder if he was indeed human. Maybe he was completely metal under all that skin. Maybe it was not just his arm.

Lena wanted to speak to him, to hear the sound of his voice. He intrigued her. He was compelling and interesting to look at, and he was the only male that seemed to entice some sort of swelling in the depths of her abdomen.

When she was forced into the dreaded seduction classes that Madame D guided Lena through, the young woman usually held the Soldier's gaze. She did not know if it were because she wished it were him in the place of whichever guard was assigned to act as a stand in for Lena to learn on, or because he was so unattainable. In a sense, keeping his gaze allowed Lena's mind to be elsewhere. She could focus on his features and analyse the depths of the shadows beneath his large blue eyes.

"Stand down, Soldat!" His handler ordered through the intercom. Immediately, the Soldier looked away from Lena. He did not relax his stance. Instead, he barely stepped back from the bleeding and bruised woman.

A buzzing noise filled the room, signalling that the doors were unlocking. Two guards, accompanied by the Soldier's handler and a scientist entered the room. The handler and scientist walked toward the Soldier and escorted him from the room whilst the two guards pulled Lena to her feet. They held her up, her feet barely skimming the ground as they dragged her from the room and into a makeshift infirmary that stood just outside. They lifted her onto the gurney, her dirty clothes immediately staining the white cotton she sat on.

A doctor came toward her and went about patching the cuts that Lena had endured. It seemed that in these sessions, the Soldier went easy on her. His hits doubled her over, but she was quick to notice that he avoided breaking her bones. When the doctor had finished plastering the various cuts she had sustained to her temple and upper shoulders, Lena was carted away to the shower block.

With a guard stationed outside the door, Lena was allowed to wander around freely inside.

She stood in the centre of the open shower and turned the faucet. She flinched as the freezing water worked its way through the rusted pipes and spat out at her, hitting her sore flesh. Lena sighed and closed her eyes, letting the water rush over her. Eventually it turned lukewarm, and Lena savoured the change in temperature. She rubbed her hands over her face, cringing as her fingers connected with the staples digging into her temple. Lena picked the dried blood out from under her fingernails and wiped flecks of dark red against the grey tile in front of her.

Once satisfied with how clean she was, Lena finished her shower and dressed in the grey trousers and matching sweater that had been shoved into her arms after being dispatched by the doctor.

Lena was then escorted to where she had spent most of her time recently –Madame D's classroom. If she wasn't being forced into gruelling training sessions with the Soldier, she was sitting opposite the Madame, just the two of them, listening intently and repeating what was asked of her. She learnt in finer detail the art of seduction, the mind games that came with it. The languages she had learnt over the numerous years confined to the compound now rolled off her tongue efficiently and she knew every single detail regarding Damien Mendez's life. She knew what he liked to eat for breakfast, the name of the pet dog he had between the ages of twelve and eighteen, and every sexual partner he had taken in the last six months. She would be able to point out the large mole he sported on his lower back and bend over in front of him in _exactly_ the way he liked.

She had decided that she would shoot him.

It was efficient and quick. She would attach a silencer to her gun and get it over with. Strangulation was her second choice. As a field agent working for S.H.I.E.L.D, Mendez would possess a certain level of skill. She understood that he had reached a level six clearance and was particularly clever with ammunitions. Lena only hoped that her simple beauty would win him over and that the curse she contained between her legs would see his end quickly.

Then she would run.

Lena would take everything and flee. She would no longer know the compound or the evil that lurked within it. They had not broken her, not yet, and they never would. Her mind was strong. There was something beyond this world she had been forced into.

Everyone had a mother. Lena did, once in her life. She would find her and hold her, and she would never let go.

* * *

 _Poland, 2012_

 _The night before_

Lena kept her composure as she was marched down the dark hall. She had been plucked from her sleep in the middle of the night by Madame D and the Headmistress and was now being led through the compound by an accompanying guard. She did not know what was happening. All the times something like this had occurred; she had entered into a cold and damp room and left bruised and covered in a mixture of her own and another girl's blood.

As soon as she had felt the hand of someone on her shoulder, waking her from sleep, Lena had mentally and emotionally prepared to kill someone. When Madame D and the Headmistress had stopped in front of a room, Lena squared her shoulders and inhaled deeply. She was ready. As the guard opened the door for the two women, Lena grit her teeth as she entered after them. Lena's breath hitched, her mouth instantly becoming dry. As her eyes grew in shock, she was not prepared for what lay in front of her. She glanced down as her feet touched down on something scratchy and not cold. In the low lighting, Lena could not see a dark floor. She wiggled her toes, feeling carpet for the first time since she could remember. The material was not soft, but it enveloped the soles of her feet and warmed her core. Her green eyes took in the yellow lamp sitting on a wooden bedside table next to an inviting single bed. There was not much to the room, it was similar to the one she currently resided in, but there was something to this. It could have been the carpet and the warmth. Lena did not feel as if the cold were penetrating every pore embedded in her skin.

Lena felt somewhat comforted. This bedroom was so different to her own. The bed was the same as her own but this one had a thick quilt on it along with many, many pillows.

As the door was shut behind her, Lena stared at the two women with a mixture of confusion and curiosity. Madame D noticed this and came toward Lena, her soft hands cupping Lena's cheeks. Lena blinked at the old woman, her features somehow softer in the dim lighting.

"Do not look so scared, Lena," She cooed in English. Lena was reminded of the way Madame D had spoken to her before she had killed Greta. Madame D had spoken Sokovian to Lena, something that had completely confused and surprised the young woman. Lena understood that the Russians had despised the Sokovian aspect in Lena. Her past trainers and Headmistress had viewed her native tongue and country as somewhat inferior. Lena had kept her native language hidden for so long until now. She had endured too many beatings in the past for not speaking Russian.

Lena searched the older woman's eyes. Madame D pressed her lips into a tight line, running her eyes over Lena's features. Silently, the old woman leant forward and pressed her lips to Lena's forehead. The action was comforting and maternal, and Lena clung to this moment. It was her first taste of affection since she could remember, yet it felt so odd and out of place.

"What is happening?" Lena whispered to her.

Madame D sighed and held Lena's confused gaze. "Tonight, you become a woman."

Lena blinked at the older woman. "What?"

"Everything you have learnt with Madame will be put to the test tonight." Madame D lowered her head and stood to the side as the Headmistress began speaking. She came forward, lurking toward Lena. The younger woman felt completely out of sorts –she was in a room that she had never seen in her life with two women that had raised her in a vicious environment. Yet Lena felt as if she were somewhat equal to these women. She stood before them, dressed in her nightclothes, as were they. Madame D and the Headmistress both wore their hair loose from their usual braids. Their greying locks tumbled over their shoulders in waves, hanging over their own creamy coloured nightgowns.

"We will prepare you," The Headmistress continued. "Then we will leave you."

"You know what is to be done, Lena," Madame D murmured, her eyes filled with sadness. Lena could not fathom why she looked so defeated.

"He will be here soon," Headmistress stated, "Come, we must prepare you."

Lena swallowed the lump in her throat. She allowed herself to be prodded and poked at by the two women. She stripped out of her nightclothes when she was told and sat incredibly still as Madame D brushed her hair. The Headmistress directed Lena toward the bed. She placed her hands on the younger woman's bare shoulders and pushed her down onto the mattress. Madame D now clung to Lena's discarded nightclothes, clutching them to her bony chest as she watched the Headmistress pick at the satin chemise Lena had been forced into.

"You need not worry about the risk of this," Headmistress stated in a stern tone," An implant was placed in your arm months ago during one of your visits to the infirmary. From here on, you will not worry about potential burdens."

Lena nodded. Her mind swirled, almost hurting as she took everything in. She was to do the one thing she had hoped would never come. She knew that eventually she would have to seduce a man –it was required of her on her mission. She just had not completely comprehended that the act would happen. She had been naked in front of a man before, she had been naked in front of many. She had felt a man, brought him to release, and she had parted her legs for many to inspect but this, this act that would take place in this very room, stunned and frightened her.

Lena shifted uncomfortably on the bed. Both women looked down at her, standing side by side.

"You will leave this room a woman," Headmistress affirmed. "We will be watching. Do not disappoint us or there will be consequences."

Lena's eyes hardened. She had suspected there would be an audience.

"You are doing this for your country," Madame D spoke up, her voice strained.

"More importantly," Headmistress carried on. "You do this for _Hydra_."

Lena's eyebrow's furrowed. The word HYDRA prickled her memory. She had heard this name before, mentioned briefly by guards or the Headmistress. Whenever it had entered her ears, she knew it had been a word that had not meant to be heard by the girls. It seemed to be a word spoken in hushed tones or hisses and met with alarming smiles and glinting eyes.

Lena closed her eyes as Madame D bestowed another motherly kiss to her forehead. The Headmistress eyed the interaction with narrowed eyes before turning on her heel and stalked out of the room. The Madame followed her superior, casting one last sorrowful glance in Lena's direction as she paused in the doorway. With a sigh, she disappeared, the door clicking shut softly behind her.

Lena let out a gush of breath once she was alone. Though there were cameras in the corner of the room, eyeing her every move, she only hoped that the low lighting would conceal her small body.

Her stomach tumbled violently. Lena attempted to square her shoulders and calm her breathing, but as she sat waiting on the bed, her palms began to sweat as did her underarms. She grew increasingly nervous as the seconds passed and fingers began to shake.

Lena did not know how much longer she could take. She was sure that she had been sitting on the bed, her legs and hands shaking for what felt like hours. She felt as if she desperately had to go to the toilet but she suppressed the need, scratching her exposed upper arms instead.

Her head snapped up as the door opened. Lena's stomach dropped and a cold, frightened feeling rolled down from the top of her head and over her shoulders.

He had slipped into the room so quickly. The door was locked behind him as soon as he was inside, leaving the two separated from the outside world.

He was a ghost, pressed against the wall, his eyes strained on Lena.

The young woman gulped as she took in the Soldier. His eyes were dark in this lighting, and the dark shadows under his eyes seemed deeper. His brown hair hung around his face, grazing his chin.

He did not wear his usual uniform. The vest with the many clips was gone as were the many holsters strapped to his limbs. The Soldier stood before her dressed in his black cargo pants and heavy boots, a dark long-sleeved shirt covering his metal arm.

Lena stiffened when he stepped toward her. There was something in his face, something gleaming in his eye. She could make out the hesitation in the way he came toward her. He remained domineering and terrifying, that would never go away. It was just so unsettling to see him in this room. Lena often wondered what he did after she saw him. Her mind drifted to the many questions she often pondered - who was he?

They had locked her in this small and intimate space with him. A guard was surely outside, but he could kill her in less then a heartbeat. Is that why the Madame was so sad? Because she knew that the Soldier could kill her favourite student in less then a second?

Lena did not breathe as the Soldier stopped in front of her. She was at eye level with his crotch, and the proximity made her flush. She averted her eyes, her chin lowering as she gritted her teeth. Knowing that they would be watching, Lena tried to force herself onto her feet. This was what she had to do. She needed to seduce him, to put into action everything she had learnt.

Silently, Lena pushed herself onto her feet. Her front brushed against his as she straightened. They were so close. Shakily, she raised her head, locking eyes with the tall man. He peered down at her, watching her every movement.

He seemed so haunted. Standing so close to him, Lena could see that the shadows under his eyes were worse then she initially could see. A layer of stubble ran over the lower half of his face and a long cut ran from his eyebrow to his jaw, sitting along his hairline. Carefully, Lena raised her arms. Her breathing halted with a gasp as he reacted. He grabbed at both her wrists, catching them mid-air in a rough grip. Lena winced, her eyes widening.

" _Did they not brief you_?" She whispered to him in Russian.

The Soldier breathed heavily, the hot air fanning over Lena's nose and cheeks. Wordlessly, he brought their arms down to their sides, but he did not release his hold of her. Lena began to breathe harder as the tension grew; her breasts brushing against his chest with each inhale.

" _Can I touch you_?" Lena asked him. The Soldier paused before nodding his head by only a fraction. He released his hold on her wrists, allowing Lena to raise her hands once again. She brought her palms to his face, cradling his cheeks gently. He flinched at her touch, eyeing her warily.

"It is ok," She spoke in English, attempting to soothe him. The Soldier's eyebrows pulled together slightly before he settled into her touch, although he remained tense. before settling. Lena ran her thumbs over his stubble, taking in how rough his skin felt. The Soldier's eyes flickered shut. Lena continued to brush her fingers across his features, her face moving closer to his. She breathed him in, her nose skimming his chin as she tilted her head back. Standing on the tips of her toes, Lena gently pressed her lips against his.

Lena grunted as her back hit the mattress. A weight was pressing into her shoulder, holding her down.

"Soldat!" Lena squeaked, raising her legs to push against him. The Soldier glared at her, his metal hand cold against her skin.

"Stop!"

The Soldier slid his hand from her shoulder to her breast. Lena panted as she watched his face contort with an unknown expression. It was as if he were forcing himself to do what he had been told. Lena grunted in pain as his metal fingers dug into her flesh over the chemise, squeezing her plump breast tightly.

" _You do not have to touch me if you do not wish to_ ," Lena told him. When she did not receive a response, she prodded again. " _Do you want me to touch you_?"

"Yes."

His answer in English almost knocked the air from Lena's lungs. She had not anticipated him to answer. His grip on her breast loosened and he gently brushed his thumb over her nipple.

The sound of his voice urged Lena's her lips to part in shock. When he brought his eyes to peer at her, Lena hurriedly regained her composure.

"Please let me go and I will make you happy," Lena replied to him in English. The Soldier moved back from the bed, removing his hand from her shoulder. Lena sat up and pushed her fringe from her eyes. She pulled the straps of her chemise back onto her shoulders and stood on shaky legs. She gestured for the Soldier to take her place. He complied and moved to sit down on the bed. Lena then stood in front of him. With his attention on her, she placed her hands on either side of her thighs and slid the chemise up until it rested on her waist, exposing her naked lower half to him. Delicately, Lena inched forward and lowered herself into the Soldier's lap, straddling him.

She took his face in her hands once again, forcing him to look at her.

"Please do not hurt me," She whispered to him, "They are watching us. Let us enjoy this as much as we can. Please."

She did not want to beg, but it was something she had to do. She then placed her lips upon his, kissing him softly. The Soldier did not respond. His arms remained at his side, his mouth unmoving. The only indication that he seemed to be enjoying the situation was the hard bulge rubbing against her thigh. Pulling away from the kiss, Lena reached up to slide down the straps of her chemise, revealing her breasts. Silently, she took his metal hand and placed it over her right breast, smoothing his fingers run over her nipple. She then gently pushed him back so that he lay on the bed and dragged his shirt up, revealing his chiselled torso.

She had traced her hands over his chest, feeling his warm skin under her fingers. Positioning herself over him, Lena moved down the length of his body, her hands going to his trousers. She paused as her fingers fumbled with the many buttons and glanced up. Lena and the Soldier stared at one another, both entranced. Lena swallowed the lump in her throat and continued. She pulled the Soldier's trousers down, taking in the sight of him bare before her. Hesitantly, she continued to push his trousers down, discarding them on the floor. Lena then slid back up, sitting on top of him. She could feel him between her thighs, adding to the warmth spreading within her. Her chemise sat bunched at her waist, and before Lena could pull it over her head, she gasped softly as the Soldier carelessly ripped it in half. Lena blinked in amazement as he tossed it away. She brought her gaze back to him and immediately went rigid. Something had changed within him.

The Soldier's eyes darkened. His mouth was pressed into a thin line as his eyebrows drew together. He stared at her with that same blank stare, although this time, as his breathing grew more ragged and his fingers dug into the flesh of Lena's thighs, she could see the animalistic nature that he possessed during combat training appear.

Within minutes, Lena Kozhenova became a woman.

Lena's stomach flipped when he rolled over, shoving her underneath him. Inhaling deeply, Lena then held her breath as he reached between them. She felt his knuckles brush against her entrance before he pushed inside of her. Lena's mouth opened, her eyes screwing shut. She clenched her teeth, hissing at the pain that erupted between her thighs. His head buried in her neck, his large form completely enveloping her, pushing her down into the hard mattress as he thrusted relentlessly inside of her.

Lena held onto him, afraid that if she let go, it would become to unbearable. Lena had been taught to do whatever her counterpart wanted. If they took the lead, she was to follow.

She was shocked when he rolled over again, bringing her to sit on top of him. They danced only in these two positions, with her either crying silently underneath him, or attempting to find rhythm as she rocked away at his hips. The pain did not go away, causing Lena to hide her wincing for the entirety of the experience.

As she rocked away on top of him, she could see the true extent of her nature. Lena now understood the impact of her body and the way she could make a man crumble beneath her.

It had been a new experience for both of them. The Soldier had been awkward. Perhaps he had not done this many times before, but his instincts were intact. He was primal and deranged, digging his fingers so hard into Lena's flesh that her skin darkened beneath his touch. He thrusted too hard into her, his head pushing back into the pillow as he bit his teeth.

This was the most Lena had ever seen the Soldier express. She watched his facial expressions intently, studying the way his eyebrows knitted together, how his mouth danced between opening and closing as he reacted to the pleasure. Lena was unsure how this act was so pleasurable. She was in great pain, her lower half feeling as if would rip in two. She could not understand how he fit inside of her, and she wondered if he was damaging her insides.

They barely kissed. Each time Lena leant down to plant her mouth upon his, he turned his head to the side or rolled them over, shoving her underneath him. It was demoralising, but Lena understood that intercourse could never be anything else. It was an act used to extract what was desired from her targets –a deadly tool that would give her what she wanted.

Lena cried out when his metal arm pushed too far down on her thigh, spreading it at an awkward angle. Her legs were raised, bending at the knee halfway in the air as he plunged inside of her, his face buried deep in her neck. Lena screwed her eyes shut, turning her head so that she distanced her face from his thick scent.

Lena let herself go limp. She closed her eyes as he pushed in and out, his hand sliding underneath her buttocks where he held onto her dearly.

She almost sighed with relief when he pumped inside of her three more times before releasing a deep breath. The Soldier lay on top of her for ten seconds –Lena patiently counted. He then slid out of her, and Lena felt liquid rush over her inner thighs. She cracked her eyes open slightly, focusing her gaze on the ceiling. She counted the many cracks in the paint above her. In the low lighting she made out six different cracks that ran through the concrete, running adjacent before eventually joining together. It reminded Lena of tree roots, embedded in soil.

The Soldier removed his body from hers and slid off the bed. He was still panting. Lena listened intently as he drew in each breath, pausing to swallow a mouthful of spit every now and again.

The Soldier sat on the bed for a moment, collecting himself. It was then that the door opened. Lena shut her eyes again. The Soldier straightened, rising to his feet immediately. Two guards marched toward him, their gloved hands seizing his upper arms. Without a word, they dragged him from the room.

When she heard the door close, Lena still did not open her eyes. She lay in the bed, naked and hot. She was covered in a layer of her and the Soldier's sweat, making her feel unclean. When she pushed on her pelvic muscles, more liquid seeped out of her. Every now and again she would push as hard as she could, expelling him from her body. She attempted to comprehend what had just happened, and though she felt demoralised and confused, Lena urged herself to understand that this was just what had to happen. What had just occurred between her and the Soldier was for her benefit. This was a skill she was yet to perfect, and when she did, it would be used for greater purposes.

Lena could not help but feel a slither of guilt. The Soldier continued to perplex and intrigue her. He was calculating and robotic, but she had felt something within him in the time they shared together. There was something beyond the blank stares and aggravated grunts. Something was hidden behind his eyes, like he was trying to piece together thoughts and feelings that were not quite there.

She remained in the bed for another three hours. Lena did not move an inch. When the Headmistress came to collect her, something had changed within the young woman. The Headmistress passed it off as Lena's newfound womanhood, but upon closer inspection, Madame D could see the pain of loss reflecting back at her. Both women went about preparing Lena for her mission. She was fed and briefed once again on her assignment. She was talked through the many scenarios she would most likely find herself within and handed the legal documents she had grown accustomed to for the past month. She repeated her alias to Madame D as she stood underneath the hot shower, stating her fabricated backstory and carefully devised cover. Each word seemed to come out more aggressive as she stood under the boiling water, her mouth spitting out each letter as if it were a sin.

She was presented with a simple duffle bag that contained a stylish yet bleak wardrobe. Lena carefully listened as the Headmistress pointed out the concealed weapons within the bag.

She was then dressed in a black turtleneck and trousers. A long grey coat was slid over her shoulders. Madame D fixed Lena's hair before handing the young woman a sleek black handbag that contained her fake travel documents.

Lena's stomach tumbled as Madame D and the Headmistress, along with a string of guards, led her down the long passageways. Her heeled shoes clacked against the concrete, and Lena could almost not comprehend that she was about to exit the compound. It was so surreal, like a dream. She had thought of this moment for years, having spent so long analysing every single detail.

She watched in awe as a guard moved the heavy latch away from the door. She winced as white light flooded the room, blinding everyone momentarily as the door was pushed open. Lena shielded her eyes as she was pushed forward, the cold biting her immediately as she moved out of the compound.

Lena noticed a path had been cleared, the snow pushed to both sides of a flat concrete pathway. She ambled forward, mindful not to slip on the icy surface. She panted as the freezing air bit at her face, turning her nose and cheeks red. Wincing against the harsh glare from the snow, Lena trudged toward a clearing where a black helicopter awaited.

Upon arriving on the helipad, Lena's anxiety flared. Her eyes went wide and she swivelled, searching for Madame D.

The older woman met Lena's frantic gaze. Her lips parted but nothing came out. As she grappled with the silence, Lena then looked to the Headmistress. The ghoulish woman stalked toward Lena and gripped her arm. Leaning toward her, she sneered.

"Remember the mission," She hissed, "If there is any trouble, we will know. You will be found and disposed of if this mission is not completed."

Lena gave the woman a solid nod. With her items, she was lifted into the helicopter and strapped in. A headset was placed over her ears, muffling the sound of blades churning. As the door was slammed shut next to her, Lena kept her eyes focused out the window. She did not take in the last sight of the Headmistress or Madame D, she couldn't bare to look at the two women that had contributed to whatever this life was.

Lena took in the sight of the thick pine trees as the helicopter rose from the helipad. Topped with snow, she admired their beauty.

Her mouth was dry, as was her throat. Eyeing the pilots sitting in front of her, Lena wandered how easy it would be if she merely launched herself from her seat and commandeered the controls. Perhaps she could crash the helicopter into the compound and set her spirit free.

Closing her eyes, Lena attempted to calm herself. It was overwhelming, knowing that she would soon be immersed in society. She had been inundated with photographs of the city she were to be placed within - _Berlin_. From as long as she could remember, she had been taught the history of the world, how it came to be, and the wars that had plagued each country. She was aware of every country's politics and how society's operated. She had studied films and pictures of different cities, but to know that she would soon be existing within one, it completely tore down every wall she had spent so long building.

Lena would be free soon. She would find the voice that called out to her, and she would never let go.


End file.
